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I killed a bug while doing yoga today

13 Nov

I’ve been programmed to believe that is wrong.

However, in the moment it felt like a perfectly fine thing to do.

I do not regret my actions, though I do have some remorse for the poor critter whose life I shortened though probably not considerably since insects tend to have very short life-spans comparatively speaking. It did pass my mind that I was doing a service of some kind.

I have a healthy sense that I was an instrument in passing. I don’t have guilt. I don’t feel used, but I don’t feel unaffected either.

I thought about killing it. I considered the consequences. It never crossed my mind to capture the thing in a glass jar with a plate underneath like I usually do for scorpions and tarantulas. It was not dangerous or large or too fast for me to catch. It was just there.

It was just there at that precise moment when I was able to reach my shoe (which is usually behind me, out of reach) with one hand while maintaining my balance, kill the thing and continue with my practice.

Afterward, I did think one thought: I killed a bug while doing yoga today.

Suspicion

3 Nov

“People who can’t write verse are paranoid and suspicious about things that rhyme.” – R. Sue

 

 

 

 

People who can’t write sentences are paranoid and suspicious about everything. – J@M

Remember

27 Oct

Remember

Way back then

when I dipped my

big toe in the chocolate

fondue pot and it was all

feng shui in the house we built

around love but I got squirmy ‘cause

it felt too good like that day you tried to

eat it all the way home little piggy style so I got

us a school girl giggle with misspelling who loved cupcakes

even when the jump rope tied to your leg

rendered it inoperable, sooner or now and later

we were tired of wrestling as the floor arched

golden between 67 and 73 was about as high

as we could get before the cavities, after

shots shocked chock-full of cancer

or was it the twins who had

to come to my own conclusions

about whether or not we’d have

room for a view

if we said?

I do.

Our most powerful virtues require solomente: Strength

24 Oct

Why is it that all the strongest virtues (patience, forgiveness, faith, prudence, fortitude) which require no action at all are the hardest to practice?

Lago Arenal nubes

Muchos cielos

An idiom by any other name would smell as sweet

11 Apr
Bluebonnets in spring

Nature abhors a vacuum

The juxtaposition of rock, decaying mulch and vibrant new plant life drew me to this area of the backyard very near where target practice is held. Every evening as the sun finally drops behind the wooden slatted fence, rays of light leak through and illuminate things I’ve never seen before. Things that are there every day but go unseen by anyone until I take a picture and share it. There is nothing else in this bed but more decaying mulch, a few empty pots and a fallen ornamental peacock. His pride prevented him from inclusion. I walk past this rock 16 times to the target after I shoot and 16 times when I return with my arrows. I walk past it 32 times a day, 224 times per week and 960 times per month and every day I see something new.

Mother’s jewels

The bluebonnet flowers have since been provided with rain and sprouted. The tiny droplets of water they caught more precious than diamonds. It’s the only plant I know of that holds water like the Star of India holds light. Their beauty too wild to confine to one garden; they’ve taken over the entire side of the back yard leaving me only a footpath to my target.  A path I’ve walked so many times the flowers learned to bloom around it, up to my knees though I never trampled them. Strange the other side of the yard is completely barren but for the weeds.

Socrates Cafe

2 Dec

I hunger, therefore I am

was my motto at 27

and long before that

I hungered

but knew not what

hunger was.

I satiated my appetite

with danger, lust and

worse, with pain.

I filled the void

like a child instinctively

fills a bucket with sand

and builds a castle.

But I built nothing.

I scratched and clawed

at reason

I bit, and hard

I gnawed at the truth

I swallowed passion like a tonic

and still I searched

for the cure

the meal that would finally

and forever satisfy my hungry

soul – and sometimes I found it

for a moment, with the lights off

on a winding desert road

for an hour in the full moon

face that lit my way

for a day or two

and a night and sometimes more

but as long as I sought

after it

it never lasted.

Dear Sister

2 Dec

it is a great accomplishment

in life

to have succeeded so

to have conquered fear

real or imagined

to be self-sufficient

and more

to be self-reliant

financially stable

and some days even

well-off

to be healthy and happy

and to have beautiful children

to share it with

and to watch grow

and to teach

and one day to set out

on their own.

What a privilege then

it will be

to have a chat on the phone

from far away

about absolutely nothing.

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