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Chapter 1 – Why?

9 May

Why? I ask you.
Silently pleading you’ll reply.
Help me
I whisper.
Hoping that you’ll hear my cry.
How? (Long?)
Can we hide behind this lie.
Heal me
I am wounded
And I do not wish to die
What (?)
I am saying
Should be of no great surprise
Kiss me
I want you
To look me in the eyes.
Tell me that you love me more
Then say goodbye.

Dear Sister

2 Dec

it is a great accomplishment

in life

to have succeeded so

to have conquered fear

real or imagined

to be self-sufficient

and more

to be self-reliant

financially stable

and some days even


to be healthy and happy

and to have beautiful children

to share it with

and to watch grow

and to teach

and one day to set out

on their own.

What a privilege then

it will be

to have a chat on the phone

from far away

about absolutely nothing.

Random Thought

11 Oct

Will you still need me, will you still read me when I’m 64?



9 Sep

If you wouldn’t date yourself…

Don’t even think about dating me. Seriously. Just don’t.


This public service announcement is brought to you by the people who don’t expect others to be better than they expect from themselves department of labor and statistics on better living, etc.


26 Aug

The wound was deep

But I held my hand

Over my heart

And when you asked

I pressed the other against your cheek

Engaged your eyes with a smile

Lifted two fingers away from my chest

And showed you the blood there.

Only a few drops, see?

You relaxed then so I held your gaze

With a turn of my cheek

Affectionately toward yours

And when our foreheads met

I pushed yours gently to the left

So you would watch the pretty nurse

Approaching, she was appealing in her

White starched dress and cap, silk

Stockings with a seam

Running all the way down the back of her

Taut calves to the rim of her

White soled comfort shoes

Dipped in scarlet

She never slipped as she

Walked right through me

Crimson prints marked her path

To the next room

To the next door.

As I tried to hold your gaze

Chin in hand

And smile affixed

I felt you stiffen

Your eyelids drooped

You looked as if you swallowed something

Very sharp

Or very poison.

The door shut automatically behind her.

You flinched at the finality

Of the sound

But never looked down

You didn’t have to.

Instead, you looked to the left

From where she had come

And to the right again.

This time when you caught my gaze

I knew I could release you

You used to say my eyes looked empty this way

But I knew

You’d have to hate me

To release me.

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