Tag Archives: past

Nuevos palabras/New words

29 Oct

Knowledge – the way I learned to spell this word is by remembering the phrase “know the ledge” which I always pictured in my mind as something to stand at the edge of gazing down or out depending on my mood.

Somehow, just knowing the ledge made it perfectly acceptable to be there. I often enjoy the view.

Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn’t be better for everyone involved if no one ever got to know too much about anything, especially the ledge.

conocimiento
knowledge, awareness, knowing, consciousness, familiarity, cognizance

Chapter 3 – The Silver Flute, Pt. 1

26 Sep

This is the story of a young woman who discovers that the mystery of life lies not in death but in the desire to live.

Like most people her age, she is deeply depressed by the current standard of living ie. those established by mainstream society to achieve the “American Dream”. Or maybe she is just the laziest sun ever risen. She feels the nineties have nothing offer. Money means debt in her middle class world of woe. She sighs, thinking of time past and wishes for a more romantic age. In these pages you will travel with her on her quest for a reason to exist, however far from suicidal she believes herself to be.

Life is a series of ironic jokes and disappointments to her. It is difficult to decide whether she should laugh or cry most of the time. Death is the worst joke of them all. Hell is reserved for people stuck on earth and heaven is what you make it. This is a mystery.

The Silver flute gave her confidence and put a song on her lips and she strode toward her favorite midnight meeting place. The neighborhood was not such that young women like her should feel secure, but she did. In fact, she felt safest in the middle of the road because if it was anybody’s territory – it was hers. Besides, a good solid silver flute hung over her right shoulder to be wielded as a weapon if ever she came upon trouble.

Not many things in her life gave her such a feeling of self-possession. At the age of 21, she was constantly reminding herself of reality. In high school she thought herself a loner in the midst of the popular crowd. An entire existence was birthed for her then, along with its twin—a passionate nature that would cause her much grief. She led her life as an Miller-Burroughs inspired adventure of the seediest kind. Her classmates were often under the impression she was stoned and she did nothing to disway them. Perhaps she felt her cover was better kept under a cloak of narcotic bliss otherwise known as sheer stupidity.

Furthest from the truth is what she shared with those she thought to be below her because the truth is we come from people much, much better than we are now. Or so her devastatingly shameful parents explained to her when she came home high again on their example, but all parents are equally disappointing to their teenage children. It wasn’t that her mother and father weren’t good to her. They gave her everything she ever asked for.  She was the only girl in her class with both of her original parents which has to count for something. The house was nice and mom always kept a beautiful garden in the front yard perfect for picking flowers for the teacher on the way to school.

It must have been a stigma – too much television and not enough veggies. She once smashed a roach on the forest green and gold shag carpet in her room and before she could find the nerve to pick it up and throw it away there were a thousand-trillion baby roaches feasting away on their own mother. Soon after, she packed up her Barbies and decided to move.

Her flute had been a gift from a friend of the family. Upon hearing her play he told her he could not keep such a fine, expensive instrument for himself – a mere novice. Yeah, he talked like that. But he was cool and he rode a Harley so it wasn’t like he was gay or anything and even if he was, well hell that would be cool too because he was big. Like, I’ll kick your ass just for looking at me sideways big thought I’m certain he never had to raise a hand because one look would have been enough.

To be continued…

Chapter 3 – To Christian

21 Sep

When did your spirit die

And leave your body to fend for itself

You knew that it would take

Neither the rush, nor the fall

From grace

It is true

You were slipping

Into some new dementia

Searching for an absolute on earth

Would not do

Now what I would not do

Is follow or weep

For you have left behind

Nothing but grief

Will you wander for eternity?

Never satisfied

Although you’ve paid the highest price

Chapter 3 – Defeat

14 Sep

I’ve got a broken heart

The size of the moon

Never want to go back there

Not anytime soon

I am a child

In a grown-up game

Nobody ever told me the rules

Or taught me how to play

What’s so fair about love and war

Easier to die lonely

Than to ever know

You were once loved

What a shame

To die old and gray

Unaware of the pleasures

Never knowing this man with only a name

No face to place my adoration

Time was sixteen stones in our path

I was born

To hide away

Keeping the faith

To keep the beat

Of what is ours

Alive

Please tell me that my efforts will

Not end in defeat

Chapter 2 – The Market Place

12 Sep

Strawberry stained

Summer rain

A gypsy woman asks my name

“your future” she says

“for a fee”

All I have is the twenty marks

She asks of me

Wearing her wealth in fine and weighty

Layers

She never minded that I could not speak

Her language

In her dark hands she held mine and

Read the story on my palm

My destiny

“Autumn approaches and soon

Her leaves will cover the ground

From this land, you must be gone

For what I say is true –

If you stay in one place too long

Autumn’s leaves will cover you!”

Chapter 2 – A Week of Me

7 Sep

Sunday

It was dark

No one came out to play

Monday

It was snowing

At home we will stay

Tuesday

Lessons to learn

You are far away

Wednesday

Back to Rixuland

For fun and games

Thursday

Pizza at the asshole club

For my drinks, who will pay?

Friday

Prepare for tomorrow

Another weekend day

Saturday

No letters to send

None received

I love you, see you soon

Is what I used to say

Chapter 2 – Last Curtain Call

6 Sep

Opening fleshy curtains

To expose

To let the light seep through

Tasting familiar colors

Rusted metal blades

Tear stained pillows

No soap can wash away

Sleep beside my love

I fear for my sanity

Purple rushes of you

Encase me in vampire’s coffin

Keep me safe from cruel light

My skin is no curtain

And my blood far from sunshine

Forgive me for these sad metaphors

Take me home

Away! Away!

The velvet curtain of the stage is falling

This is the end of a tragic play

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